DYING TO LIVE

 

My mom always told me that she believed death would be glorious and that it would be an amazing experience to enter heaven and hear Jesus say "welcome home".

Ten days ago she heard Him say those words to her in person.

My mom had not been well for a while and had been moved to the Frail Care Centre at the Retirement Home she had been living in for the past 2 years.  My sister and I popped in for a visit on Thursday morning the 11^th July and knew immediately that she was dying.  She acknowledged us with a smile and after about an hour of us being there she looked around the room at my sister, myself and 2 nurse aides who were also in the room at the time and very clearly said “I love you all very much”. After that she started to drift in and out of sleep.

My husband went to fetch our three girls from home (it was school holidays) and brought them to her room.  What an amazing time that was.  Our retired minister, Bill and his wife Mary, were also there and we stood and listened and watched as these 3 girls sat on her bed, holding her hands and speaking about the memories that she had made with them - ’remember the time Ouma when…’  or ‘it was so much fun Ouma when we went to…..’

There was a lot of laughter especially when one of our daughters looked around the room at all the people present and said “Well, ouma, you certainly are getting a really good send off” and then added “and you are leaving the world well populated”.  My mom loved just being with her grandchildren and listening to them talk and she often repeated to other family members and friends things they had said.  I could just imagine her saying to Jesus later "and did You hear that wonderful comment about me having a "really good send off"!?

Each girl then said goodbye.  They hugged and kissed her, told her that they loved her and would miss her.

Bill read a scripture to her and prayed and we could see that she was aware of what was happening around her.  Everyone left and it was just my sister and I in the room with her until my brother arrived from Namibia at 4.30.  He had caught the 1:00 o’clock flight from Walvis Bay to Cape Town.

As he sat down beside her and took her hand she opened her eyes and spoke to him.  We could not make out the words she was saying but knew that she recognized him  and was at peace that he was there with her.

After that she did not open her eyes again.  The three of us stayed with her.  Every now and again one of us would pray or read a Psalm or just talk quietly.  There was an incredible sense of peace in the room .  My mom died at 6.40 that evening and about 10 minutes before her spirit left her body my brother knelt on the floor took her in his arms and committed her to the Lord giving thanks for her life.

The sms message that I sent to family and friends a little while afterwards simply stated “my mom is in His Presence” because that is exactly where she was.  At home with her Lord, hearing Him say “welcome home, my child”.

My mother believed totally and absolutely in the words that Jesus had spoken whilst He was here on earth “I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes Him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life.  I tell you the truth, a time is coming and has now come when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God and those who hear will live” (John 5:24 & 25).  My mom is alive with Christ.

Trevor Hudson once said “...if our deepest confidence is in the God who raised Jesus from the dead, then our sadness will not be trapped in hopelessness and despair.  We will be able to grieve with hope”.

 

I want to end with the words that one of her grandsons wrote about her:

"Don't despair at the ending  of life, rejoice at a life well lived and enjoyed.  A life that touched others, that helped nurture others and that helped change the world, even in a small way."

 

 

GOD HAS FORGOTTEN

Why is it that most of us find it almost impossible to forgive ourselves and to forget the shame of our pasts and yet, with the same breath, we acknowledge that we believe that “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness”?¹

Isn’t that incredibly hypocritical of us?  Doesn’t that show a major lack of faith on our behalf? God says He forgives our sins and “will remember our sins no more”² and yet we say we cannot forgive ourselves.  How insincere is it of us then to tell other people about this amazing God when we don’t believe a word of what He says ourselves. What right do we have to call ourselves believers in Christ when we are invalidating the very essence of the Christian gospel message by refusing to forgive ourselves?

God “gave you a share in the very life of Christ, for He forgave all your sins, and blotted out the charges proved against you, the list of His commandments which you had not obeyed.  He took this list of sins and destroyed it by nailing it to Christ’s cross.  In this way God took away Satan’s power to accuse you of sin, and God openly displayed to the whole world Christ’s triumph at the cross where your sins were all taken away”.³

Do I have faith in what Jesus Christ has done?  “When I turn to God and by belief accept what God has done, the miraculous atonement by the Cross of Christ instantly places me into a right relationship with God.  And as a result of the supernatural miracle of God’s grace I stand justified, not because I am sorry for my sin, or because I have repented, but because of what Jesus has done”⁴
If I continually feel guilty about the sins I have committed, ashamed about the things I have done, upset about the hurt I may have caused others even after I have asked God to forgive me and made restitution where possible, what kind of witness am I for God?  If I am trapped in the sins of the past how do I explain to someone that once they accept Christ as their Saviour they will be set free from sin, the benefits they will reap leads to holiness and the end result is eternal life.⁵
We need to ask, as the apostles did, Lord “increase our faith”,⁶ and then start living in God’s grace.  “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.”⁷

Once a woman who thought she was having visions from God went to the bishop for advice.  He told her that the next time God appeared to her she was to perform a test by which to know that it really was God. She was to ask God what the personal and private sins of the bishop were.  A month later she was back and she told the bishop she had done what he had asked.
God had replied “Go tell the bishop that I’ve forgotten all his sins”.⁸

¹ 1 John 1:9,  The Holy Bible, NIV

²  Hebrews 8:12, The Holy Bible, NIV
³ Colossians 2:13 – 15, Life Application Bible
⁴ Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, October 28th
⁵ Romans 6 (paraphrased), The Holy Bible, NIV
⁶ Luke 17:5, The Holy Bible, NIV
⁷ Ephesians 2:8 – 9
⁸ Methods and Practices of Anthony de Mello, Praying Body and Soul

 

 

FEELING LIKE A FRAUD!

There are times when I feel like an absolute fraud as a Christian.  In the dictionary a Christian is defined as “a person who believes in and follows Jesus Christ” and someone who “possesses Christian virtues”.

Virtues are the same as the fruits of the Spirit spoken about in the Bible – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.¹

I just have to get behind the wheel of a car and all of the above mentioned virtues disappear from my life.  When I am waiting to turn at a traffic light and the oncoming vehicles just keep on coming even though the traffic lights have turned red or when I have spent 5 minutes waiting in a queue to turn right and a taxi driver just whizzes up besides me and cuts in, I find myself giving into feelings of extreme road rage!  In fact, on one or two occasions, I have forgotten that I have a passenger with me in the car until my 11 year old, sitting in the back says in a very shocked voice “Mommy, you are not allowed to use words like that!”

I am very thankful that my children and husband are seldom in the audience when I am speaking or giving my testimony.  When one speaks in front of a Christian audience you are always so aware of wanting to make a good impression so I can just imagine one of my children sitting there listening to me and saying to themselves “Who is my mom trying to kid!  I live with her. I saw her lose her temper just this morning when she tripped over the shoe I left in the middle of the doorway. She certainly didn’t show any self-control then!”

I identify so much with the following quote:

When I say, "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect
My flaws are all too visible
But God believes I'm worth it²

In Ephesians it says “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast”.³

Grace is an unmerited gift, the condition of being favoured and sanctified by God.

When I feel like a fraud as a Christian I go back to the foot of the cross and seek forgiveness for my lack of self-control, my anger or jealousy and then I rest peacefully in the knowledge “that everyone who believes in Jesus receives forgiveness of sins through His name”.⁴

All definitions given are from the collinsdictionary.com

¹Galations 5:22, Holy Bible, NIV
²http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/193313-when-i-say-i-am-a-christian-i-m-not-shouting
³Ephesians 2:8 & 9, Holy Bible, NIV
⁴Acts 10:43, Holy Bible, NIV

LOVE KNOTS

I was paging through a book the other day and this sentence caught my attention “God is closer to sinners than saints”.  The thought crossed my mind that it was a good thing as I doubt very much whether I will ever achieve the status of sainthood in this life time!

It carried on to say:

“God, up there, in heaven,

Is holding onto each person with a string.

Every time you sin, you cut the string;

But God fixes the string again, with a love knot.

Since this knot makes the string shorter,

You are also a bit closer to God.

Thus each sin cuts it,

And each cut means a knot,

And each knot draws you closer to God”.¹

Imagine yourself standing on the outstretched palm of God’s right hand here on earth, around your waist is tied a rope which is attached to God’s left hand in Heaven.  Every time you sin it is like you have taken a scissor and cut that rope but instead of plunging to your death you are supported by the hand underneath you. 

 

As you confess your sin to God “He is faithful and just and will forgive your sins and purify you from all unrighteousness”².  God then reaches down with His left hand, to which our rope was attached, picks up our dangling piece of rope and ties the two pieces together with a love knot. He actually says in His word that He leads us “with ties of love”³. As His left hand goes back up to Heaven, the string tightens and He lifts His right hand a little higher so our feet are still firmly supported on His hand and we are drawn closer to Him.

Ephesians 5 states “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love.”⁴

If we follow this command we will find that as time goes by we will sin less and less and therefore God won’t have to make as many love knots in the rope which is a very good thing because the shorter that rope gets the closer we get to heaven and the nearer we are to meeting God face to face which will mean we are dead!  God says to us “I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction.  For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you”⁵

¹Praying Body and Soul, Methods and Practices of Anthony de Mello

²1 John 1:9, Paraphrased, Holy Bible, NIV

³Hosea 11:4, Holy Bible, NIV

⁴Ephesians 5:1, Holy Bible, NIV

⁵Deuteronomy 30:15 & 16, Holy Bible, NIV

 

 

A WORK IN PROGRESS!

 

Every person on this earth started their lives as a blessing!

In the Bible we read that “children are a gift from the Lord – they are a blessing”¹
Therefore we are all blessings.
We are children of an Almighty God and we need to start believing that and acting accordingly.
God says in His word that “where there is no vision, the people perish.”²
We need to ask God to share His vision for our lives with us and to find out what His original plan was for our lives before the world got in the way and some of us fell so far short of what God had planned for us.

Before any of us are born God has already spoken a prophetic word over our lives.  He says in Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.

We serve a God who has so much compassion for us He sent His Son to die on the Cross in our place.  Jesus suffered horrific humiliation, He was mocked and those He loved and cared for turned their backs on Him when He needed them most.

God knows exactly how sinful we are, how petty and nasty we can be and yet He still chose to send His son to die on that Cross.  It is through the death and resurrection of Jesus that we can enter into a relationship with God.  He says “If we confess our sins He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness”.³

My husband married a broken and damaged woman.  I had no sense of self worth,  I struggled with feelings of total inadequacy and had built so many barriers around myself for fear of being hurt I am utterly amazed that he even took the time to get to know me never mind marry me!

We have been married for 21 years now and a few years ago I asked him what he had seen in me that made him want to marry me.  His answer shocked me.  He said he had seen a wholeness in me.  I was a broken person and yet God gave him this image, this vision of wholeness and through the years because of his love and the fact that he has always treated me as a whole person I have been able to grow into wholeness.  I am still a work in progress!

From the time we are born God sees us as whole people.  If we have accepted Jesus Christ into our lives, if we are committed to living for Him God looks at us through the image of Jesus Christ.  “God created man in His own image, in the image of God”⁴

We need to ask God what His vision is for our lives and then through His love we need to start living that vision.

 

¹Psalm 127, Holy Bible, NIV
²Proverbs 29:18, Holy Bible, KJV
³1 John 1:9, Holy Bible, NIV
⁴Genesis 1:27, Holy Bible, NIV

THOSE PESKY FLIES!

Today I came across a letter that Oswald Chambers wrote to a friend of his in the year 1909.

I had to laugh at the way he describes the attacks we come under and the phrase he uses for the things that irritate us.

The letter is in reply to one sent to him by a friend.  The friend had written to Oswald to tell him of the struggles he was going through at the time.  This was Oswald’s response:

“Praise God for your report that the Devil is paying attention to you – so long as he keeps firing at us you may depend he thinks that we are worth watching.  The ‘plague of flies’ was not peculiar to Egypt – you will find them in the shape of busy little people that try to get over the window of your soul and irritate your outlook.”¹

Isn’t that a wonderful way of looking at those taxi drivers who cut in front of us in the traffic or shop assistants who are rude and unfriendly?
A ‘plague of flies’ that disturb our souls and irritate us!  It reminds me of a song my children sang when they were younger.  “Shoo fly, don’t bother me.  I belong to somebody”.²
Every time we start to feel irritated or angry we could just wave our hand in front of our faces and sing “shoo fly, don’t bother me.  I belong to somebody”!
If we have accepted the Lord as our savior God says that we belong to Him.³
A synonym for belong is ‘to have a home, to have a rightful place” and the origin of the word belong comes from ‘to reach’.  God reaches out to us and Jesus says “If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching.  My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.”⁴
It is God and the person who lives in a house that makes it a home and I love the way CS Lewis describes the way God changes our house because He wants to make it a fit place for Him to call home!

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

When we feel that Satan is paying too much attention to us we need to remember the verse that says “Submit yourselves, then, to God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you”.⁶   In other words we can shoo him away as well!

 

 

 ¹Oswald Chambers Abandoned to God, David McCasland

²http://specialneedsinmusic.com/folk_song_pages/shoo_fly_new_09_1216.html

³Romans 1:6, Holy Bible, NIV

⁴John 14:23, Holy Bible, NIV

⁵Mere Christianity, CS Lewis

⁶James 4:7, Holy Bible, NIV

 

 

RELEASING OUR BURDENS WITH JOY

One weekend, our family attended a church camp.  During one of the morning sessions the speaker handed out a sheet of paper to everyone on which we were to write down our burdens.  In the last session of the day, we were to take these sheets of paper and put them into a bowl.  These sheets were later burned in a fire, symbolic of releasing our burdens to Jesus.  In Matthew 11:28 Jesus urges us to : "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."  I wrote down my burdens, folded the paper and put it in my notebook, which I then left on a table.  At the end of the last session, people started placing their papers into the bowl.  My notebook was not where I had left it and I frantically searched for 'my burdens'.

"What are you looking for?" a friend whispered.
"My burdens!"
"I'll help you look", she offered.

We scrambled around looking for my lost burdens.  All of a sudden, we started to giggle uncontrollably.  Our laughter was magnified because everyone around us was so solemn and quiet. Here we were, desperately trying to find my lost burdens so I could take them up again only to lay them down again before God.  As our laughter continued, it struck me how gracious our God is.  As I had written my burdens, He had, in that very moment, taken them and they were effectively lost forever.

Also, the laying down of our burdens need not always be serious and solemn.  It can also be joyous and freeing.  Galatians 5:1 explains: "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again."

It also saddened me to realise how often we, as God's children needlessly scramble around looking for the burdens God is already carrying for us.  As I lay in bed that night, reflecting on the day, I felt the laughter rise up again inside of me and Nehemiah 8:10 took on a whole new meaning:  "For the joy of the lord is your strength".  Additionally, Proverbs 17:22 says, "A happy heart is like good medicine".


(From God's Promise for Families by Noelene Curry)